WHEN I THINK ABOUT DYING….

WHEN I THINK ABOUT DYING….

 

Every morning

I get up

Mostly around 7,

Pee and weigh,

Heat up the water

For my coffee,

Walk outside

In my pajamas

And pick up

The Herald

And NY Times.

 

As I read

The local and

International

Good and mostly bad

News

I find myself

embracing

and growing

in compassion,

suffering and celebrating

with all of us,

whatever side

or opinion

or violent

or heroic

situation.

 

I often fantasize

That today may

bestow

My final hour,

And I open myself

With gratitude

To the inevitability

Of life

And

Death.

 

When I think about

Expiring

I observe myself

Quite grateful

For the gift

Of dying,

And for the privilege

Of being so alive

And engaged

In each present

Moment.

 

I sense a

Certain liberation

From judging

And condemning

Others and myself

For our hurtful

Attitudes and

Actions—

The whole world

Is becoming

My family.

We belong.

We do owe one another

A great loyalty.

 

I value knowing

That I have

Done my

Courageous and hard work

With restitutions;

And

I remain

Open

and

Flexible

And

Committed to

Growing,

Forgiving

And

Healing.

 

 

More gently

And with conviction,

I experience a

Sharpness and

Readiness

To speak up

With respect

And without fear

And take my

Stand against

Injustice and

Inequality,

Caring equally

for

The oppressors

And the oppressed

in different ways.

 

I am not concerned

With the time

And way

And circumstances

That shall define

My dying;

I am focused daily

On living and

Letting go

And

Trusting

And serving

The highest potentials of

Others with

Genuine compassion.

 

My life,

My dying

And my death

Will be

Choreographed by

A Wise

And Refining

Mystery.

That I

Know and

Trust

Without

The need

To ask

Any of the

When’s, where’s

How’s and

Why’s.

 

With or without

Pain,

While asleep

Or awake,

Enduring long-term

Illness

Or a short-lived

Demise;

I expect

To live daily

And to die

Without

Any regrets.

 

To live today

Is to enjoy

And appreciate

Each tender thread

Of grace;

To die

Is to increase

Even More.

 

Every night

I read a few pages

Or write something

Before

I brush my teeth

And pee and

Get in bed.

 

I turn off the light

And

Switch onto my left side.

I

Think back

Over my day

With all its opposites,

inviting angels and demons

to come and go,

welcoming all,

letting go of all.

And

I

Inhale and exhale

Quite consciously,

Repeating my

Sacred word,

Abba—

 Letting myself

Surrender

into

The

Magic and mystery

Of sleep.

 

 

Hal Edwards

Wauconda

September 26, 2013

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