THE INVISIBLE WHOLE

Yellows pinks and purples,

Crocuses, tulips, daffodils,

Ah,

your time has come!

Springtime reawakens

something deep,

breathing quietly from

your invisible roots of darkness,

beyond sight and touch–

until now.

How do you do this?

How do stars

turn to mud, and stems

and blossoms

into color and perfume?

My words want to

retreat,

frightened at my

attempts to explain.

I am doomed to eternal and

inadequate expression

as I search through finite words

within my poor attempts

to explain

the mystery of the Infinite,

Sfully alive,

within

my Self.

Whatever I am,

Wherever I come from,

Wherever I am going,

there is

an inalienable Self,

a Divine human essence,

transcending all

and

permeating everything.

Something surely exists–

an Absolute Reality

before time and space,

before my creation

before all physical creation–

before, during and beyond

chronology’s brief stint.

As the oak wombs within the acorn,

As salt permeates the sea,

As the eagle soars above the clouds—

I embrace my resolve

Under the sun.

-Hal Edwards

once upon a time

in Wauconda

 

 

COURAGE TO LIVE, COURAGE TO DIE

COURAGE TO LIVE
COURAGE TO DIE

Which
calls forth more
courage
in me?

Living or Dying?

Courage calls me
to die daily.
That is what
meditation
invites.

Courage calls me
to live fully
here, now.
That is why
I meditate
every day.

Are living and dying
the Two infallible Faces
of
creation’s existence?

Will living and dying
expand and perfect
my essence and my
destiny?

For me,
to live is
to realize
my own Inner Christ,
my own cosmic
perfection
of Spirit and Matter.

For me to live
is to embody
my human/divine
nature,
suffering and reconciling
all opposites
within my body
and psyche.

For me,
to die is to let go
of every attachment,
of every external dependence,
and
to surrender to the
Unborn Tomorrows
of unlimited
growth and glory.

For me, to live is Christ,
and to die is to gain
more of
my True Self.

May 31, 2014
Wauconda
Hal Edwards

PEEING AND POOTING – Love in Action

PEEING AND POOTING

Love in Action

Peeing and Pooting

Are not interruptions

Into our busy lives.

They are quiet and glorious miracles

Taken for granted,

Absolutely necessary
and actually

quite necessary.

In the middle of my

Morning meditation

I had to pee.

Somehow, for the first time,

I instantly realized

That peeing

Is actually

Another act

Of prayer.

I felt my body

Praying as I peed

And peeing as I prayed.

I experienced the

Magical and mystical

Dynamic

Of my own body

In sync

With the inexplicable

And natural

Act of

Peeing.

  Continue reading

MORNING PAPER PRAYERS

MORNING PAPER PRAYERS

Morning prayers begin
With two solitary acts.
First, I inhale gratitude

and say Thanks!

For the gift of another day.

And then
I walk out on my driveway
And pick up
My New York Times.

A fresh hot cup of
Homemade mocha
In hand,
I sit in my
Meditation chair,
Today’s magical paper in hand,
And I breathe it all in.

Page after page,
I observe,
I witness.
I encounter
Images and stories
About my
Global family.

I stroll into
Each
Poignant, prestigious
Page.
I bi-locate into the pictures,
I imagine myself
Being with the people,
With the animals,
Amidst picturesque scenes and
Swallowed by tragedy.

Day after day,
As I sit with my paper,
I always feel
Something…
Behind and beyond
All the
fashion,
The
absurdities,
The
Wins and losses,
Oppressors and oppressed—
Greed and generosity,
Hidden and obvious
On every page—
My inner eyes
bi-locate me to
Another Horizon.

I sense a divine-human drama
Choreographed by
Truth and Trickster.
I enter into
Spectacular scenes of
Glory, faithfulness, Tragedy,
Raw and rare courage.

I see
Foreign and familiar
Smiles and surprises;
I see
Complete foolishness
And insatiable clamoring;
I observe the
News and views
And clues
Of my
Global family.

Everyday
Vivid scenes change,
One after another.

Middle East updates,
Washington’s latest plight,
Lifting a soldier
Out of harms way,
another murder, another fire;
Duke wins, Duke loses,
Conservative right, Liberal left,
Wall-Mart and Wall Street,
The dance continues,
Obscurities and clarity…
Turn the page.

Race horsing and
NFL concussions…
Enslaved children
And starving refugees…
Instantly out of sight and
Out of mind…
Turn the page.

Its all in
My morning paper—
with anorexic models…
Sumptuous mansions…
Exquisitely tasteful recipes…
Musicals and plays…
Horoscopes, movies and puzzles…
Today’s weather…
and the Dow—
All trumpeting their latest whims
For
Us, the world’s wealthy few.

Day in and day out,
our
Wall Street Journals
and New York Times,
Offer partial perspectives
Of our global village.

I put my paper down,
Breathe it all in…
And surrender
Into Silent Stillness
And meditation,
Where I wait
For Wisdom’s compassion
And the grace
To sort
And serve
From my little place
In God’s World.

Wauconda
June 4, 2014

GRANDPA STORY 10, The Power of Thanksgiving and Gratitude

GRANDPA STORY 10

The Power of Thanksgiving and Gratitude

Never neglect every genuine opportunity to say, “Thank you very much.”

Never neglect to learn and to outgrow everything, and finally say, “I am grateful.”

Check it out. How many times a day are you conscious of feeling and saying these words? “Thank you very much.” “I am grateful.” When something or someone gives you something or says something that means a lot to you, do you know the importance of expressing words of thanks, feeling your gratitude?

First of all, please don’t go around saying these words in a careless way. These words are not to be dutiful or casual; these words, when truly spoken from a conscious mind and heart, carry tremendous energy fields!!

Did you know that you can express thanks and gratitude just about anywhere anytime about any 1) mundane, 2) negative, 3) positive or 4) gigantic experience that you experience? (I use that phrase, “experience your experience” because so often, as a child and adult, I HAD experiences without “being consciously present,” without EXPERIENCING that experience in a reflective way. I was there physically but I had no idea I could choose to think about what I was doing or feeling or thinking at the time. So I missed out on what I could have learned from that experience.)

Let’s consider examples of mundane, negative, positive or gigantic experiences that led me to gratitude and thanksgiving.

1) Mundane experience- I turn my head to the left just now and look out through a clear glass window. I realize that I don’t know how to make clear glass! Somebody somewhere else made it, and I get to enjoy my snow-blown backyard with all the birds congregating around our bird feeders. Whoever you are, glass-maker, I thank you for making this glass and for the comfort of staying warm inside while I look through the glass window and enjoy my backyard. Ordinary? Yes. Mundane? Yes. Continue reading

COURAGE TO LIVE, COURAGE TO DIE

COURAGE TO LIVE, COURAGE TO DIE

Which

calls forth more

                                                                 courage

in me?

Living or Dying?

Courage calls me

to die daily.

That is what

meditation

does.

Courage calls me

to live fully now.

That is why

I meditate

every day.

Are living and dying

the Two Faces

of

creation’s existence?

Will living and dying

expand and perfect

my essence and my

destiny?

For me,

to live is Christ,

this cosmic

perfection

of Spirit and Matter,

this incarnation

of human/divine

suffering and reconciling

within my body

and psyche.

For me,

to die is to let go

of every attachment,

of every external dependence,

and

to surrender to the

Unborn Tomorrows

of unlimited

growth and glory.

For me to live is Christ

and to die is to gain

more of

my True Self.

May 31, 2014

Wauconda

Hal Edwards

DOING TONGLEN

DOING TONGLEN

I inhale,

I take in

the torment, the agony,

the illusions, the fear.

I gulp into my Soul

every snake and dragon

and mosquito

of the moment

and do Tonglen.

With open heartedness

and Spiritual Awareness

I invite

these strangers

into my Living Room.

I sit close

to the hearth fires

of purification

and

exhale Presence

while

Invisible Angels

turn all

the lights on

again.

Hal Edwards

Wauconda

May 31, 2014

THANK YOU, BROTHER FEAR

THANK YOU, BROTHER FEAR

Oh dear, Brother Fear!
What would I ever
become
without you?

Without You,
There would be
no trust,
no risk,
no friction,
no opposites,
no opportunities
to break through
the barriers
and obstacles
that thrust and trust
my journey
into
Conscious Compassion!

Thank you,
devouring fearful One;
Thank you
for paving my Way
through
not-yet-refined
capacities
awaiting me
on the other side
of your thin curtain.

Through your obscure doors
I do prefer to
crawl and stumble,
walk and dance
my Way
into myriads
of inexpressible echelons
of awareness and delight.

I too choose to
taste the fruit
from
Eden’s magical
tree.

Wauconda
May 31, 2014
Hal Edwards

MOTHER, DO YOU LOVE ME?

MOTHER, DO YOU LOVE ME?

 

Her entire childhood

perfectly obliterated

from memory,

I kept hearing her

all too familiar response,

“I…don’t…know.”

Over and over

across the years

whenever I asked her

about anything

relating to her

childhood

or youthful years,

her only response was

the same muffled phrase,

“I…don’t…know” or

“they…tell…me…that…”

Absolutely zero recall.

It was as if she did not

have a past,

did not have a childhood,

did not have connection

to those formative years.

I was thirty-seven

when I got up the courage

to ask my most important

question.

I rehearsed it many times,

fantasizing what she would say.

“Mother, do you love me?”

I was determined this time

during my visit back home

to ask every question

I was afraid to ask her.

We had the opportunity.

It was in her dining room

where I remembered countless

holiday gatherings

with relatives and friends.

We were finally alone

and “now” was the time to

ask THE big question.

It was going to be,

“Do you love me?”

I opened my mouth to

speak those dangerous words.

Something strange happened.

Something took charge

of my tongue

and a totally unrehearsed

and utterly new question

emerged from my mouth:

“Mother, tell me

about your father….”

I felt I was marshaled

outside time and space

as those words spoke me.

Both of us stood face to face

in no man’s land.

The bizarreness of that experience

brings chill bumps,

forty-three years later,

as I revisit that

seminal moment in time.

Unexpectedly, her eyes opened wide

into an altered state,

and she stared through my eyes

into the pit of my stomach

and into the core of my soul.

“They tell me….”

“They tell me I was five years old.

Papa came home from WWI

gassed and about to die at

twenty-five years of age.

I was five years old at the time.

They tell me….

that he took me in his arms

and danced me

around the dining room table….

and I never saw him again.”

Her eyes connected into my heart

and immediately

an insight flashed upon my

psychic screen—

“Mother you could not give me

what you never got.”

My entire world changed

in a split second.

My mother, no longer

my detached biological mother

whose safe and soft mother-love I

did everything possible

to earn.

Instantly she became

this innocent, precious,

fragmented and

childless

lost little girl.

I opened my arms

and she melted her

small bony frame

into my gentle embrace.

“Mother…I love you,”

I whispered into her gray hair.

“I…love…you…too,”

she slowly whispered back

as she rested safely

in my soft embrace.

From that day on,

whenever we finished

our phone calls,

she always said,

“I…love…you…”

It was on my watch

when her eyes

once more, and finally,

penetrated our lifetime

of untold stories

and merged with my

soul.

I held her

and gently touched

her thin white hair.

Her breath rattled

her final story.

“Mother, I love you so much,”

I whispered.

“Thank you

for being my Mother.”

Breathing her last,

her eyes went blank

as I rocked her

liberated and listless frame;

sweet hot tears bathing my cheeks,

I gently closed her eyelids

and kissed her forehead.

 

Hal Edwards

January 29, 2015

Wauconda, IL

SOPHIE’S IN HEAVEN

SOPHIE’S IN HEAVEN

Ring-bearer and party girl

Today,

December 29, 2014,

is Sophie’s

Heavenly Day of Birth.

Yes, Pope Francis,

this canine definitely has a soul

and she definitely

lives in Heaven.

20140809untitled0305-2

She came with a mission

and she held fast and steady

to the very end,

even after she received

meds that “put her under”

before the lethal dose,

she barked from her

unconscious depths

as if to say,

“I’m the boss and

I don’t want to

leave Jill’s side!”

Her final Hour

Her final Hour

Eyes alert,

mind sharp and focused,

body swollen

with cancer and

breath echoing

her inevitable demise,

she gave Jill her all—

and Jill gave her

her all.

Two soul friends,

joined at the hip

 from their

initial connection

when she licked Jill’s cheek

at the kennel.

Through many dark

and rocky times,

with tears and hilarious laughter,

Sophie and Jill

romped and hugged.

Soul friends forever

Quietly snuggling

inside her carry-on bag

IMG_5162she celebrated her final year

in style, including

chomping popcorn at the movies,

eating turkey at Pete’s Restaurant,

being ring-bearer at our wedding,

flying under the seat to Atlanta

and to San Francisco.

Grief now blankets

a gigantic loss;

tonight is filled with

silent emptiness, a

deep and yawning emptiness.

Thank you,

precious Sophie,

Wise Dog you were—

Wise Sophie you shall remain.

Thank you.

 

by Hal Edwards

Wauconda, December 29, 2014

Dedicated to Sophie’s devoted mistress, Jill