DYING INTO LIFE

DYING INTO LIFE

Why don’t I

Just give up,

Stop trying,

Gather enough courage

To lie down

And die?

Beyond exhaustion,

I want to sleep

forever

And numb out

The pain

Of my

Own existence.

The road seems

So dark and

Unending, so

Lonely, so

Dangerous

And demanding.

It becomes narrow,

And the bends

And bumps

Prevent me

From seeing

Far enough

Ahead.

Hope now gone,

I have frozen into

My fears;

I trudge ahead

Not knowing

Where I am

Going.

The dark settles

All around me,

The rain rattles

My brain

And racks my

Body with its

Bone chilling

Penetrating drench.

 

My vision is

Blurred,

My bones

And muscles

Are on fire.

I stumble and

Fall and

Remain mute

And motionless

As the dark-rain skies

Pummel me

Into

Unconsciousness.

How long I remain

Dormant and listless

I do not know.

I sink

Without recourse,

Swirling, free-falling

downward

into

layer after layer into

An ethereal abyss.

Out of one world,

Bardo after bardo,

Into another,

I find myself

descending into

A virtual caravan of

Vortexes.

My brain rattles;

My body tingles;

My heart implodes

Into its own

Swirling emptiness.

I cry out,

“Lord Jesus, come quickly;

Gentle Tao, I surrender,

Great Spirit, guide me now.”

Ever so slowly….

Sunshine comes and

Diminishes my foggy morning.

Gentle rains

wash off the filth,

As their healing touches

Soothe my body.

I find body and soul

Opening up to

Energy and

Light.

 

Someone, Something…

Draws me into

The Light;

I see no shadows,

I am totally transparent

And inundated

With luminosity.

I am not afraid;

I experience no pain;

I am

Amused and

Peaceful,

Pensive

And

contained.

I hear a Silent Voice,

I hear Soul Music.

It is my song,

The song I’ve been

singing

All my life.

I am

In the Light;

I am with the Light;

The Light

Fulfills

My darkness.

I suddenly realize

That Light

Is within me;

The Light

Is truly

My being,

My very

Essence.

A gentle ecstasy,

Euphoric

Soft joy,

Embraces my

Consciousness.

My entire being

Settles into its

Still Point.

Motionless

Ecstasy

Contains and

Transmutes

All my darkness.

 

Someone,

Something,

 touches

Me tenderly.

I open my eyes.

I am here, now;

I am my own witness

to things inexplicable

And totally known.

—–

Hal Edwards

Wauconda

December 20, 2013

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