GRATITUDE’S VISIT WITH VICTIM

GRATITUDE’S VISIT WITH VICTIM

On a very dark and desolate night

When no other creatures

Would venture out into such despair,

Gratitude finds her way through

Shadowy murkiness and obscurity

and knocks at the locked, rusty door

Of Victim’s house.

Knock, knock, knock.

“May I come in?” Gratitude asks.

She persists,

Knocking and waiting—

Knock, knock, knock.

Victim hears the intrusive interruption.

She is afraid.

Indeed, the knocking seems

Incessant, tireless and annoying,

Even judgmental in its persistence.

Gratitude calls out,

“Let me in. I am your faithful friend,”

but her words sound perverted;

to Victim they translate as

judgmental and imposing.

Knock, knock, knock,

Gentle and consistent

Gratitude continues in

Her modest visitation.

Fed up and overwhelmed

With stubborn self-will,

Victim rushes to the door,

Opens it and screams,

“Why do you torture me

with your trash talk?

Why don’t you go away

And leave me in peace?!”

Diatribes explode through her lips,

As poisonous arrows split the air.

At last, in the exasperated silence

There is space and time.

Gratitude quietly speaks. Continue reading

MY CHOICES AND MY WELL

MY CHOICES AND MY WELL

IMG_3386This poem was born out of an experience I had flying through Damascus into Jordan in the mid-eighties.  I sat next to the Coptic Archbishop of Egypt, and during our conversation I asked his holiness, “What would you like most to say to the American people?” and he answered quite spontaneously, “Yes, please tell them to stop ‘helping” others; tell them to be present to others, to be with others in a most genuine way.”  

—————————————– 

From beginning to end,

It is my

soul work

and my

courageous choice—

And mine alone.

My growth and

my awareness

are my

responsibility.

I cannot depend

upon what’s outside

to accomplish

my inside journey.

 

Whether I am happy

Or unhappy,

Committed or confused,

Grateful or narcissistic,

forever dependent upon others

or

dedicated to

digging

and drinking

from

my own Well–

These are my choices

my burdens,

my opportunities.

 

No matter the circumstances,

no matter the consequences,

no matter the challenges–

It’s finally

up to me alone.

 

I have nothing

nor

no one “out there”

to blame.

No one else

can do my work

for me.

Thank you

for

not

“helping” me.

It doesn’t help.

 

Thank you

for

not

messing with

my destiny.

 

Thank you

for

honoring

my

suffering,

my

awakenings,

my

journey.

 

Thank you

for

believing

in

the essential

Me,

for encouraging

me into my

true potential.

 

I can,

I will,

I shall

draw

that Living Water

from

my

deep

well

within.

 

I

choose

now

to

pick up my

little pick and shovel

and

dig through

my hard rock

of shame

and my mucky shale

of blame.

I choose to

drink

the soul-refreshing

water

that bubbles up

from

my

deeply hidden

well.

 

 

–Hal Edwards–

January 23, 2013

Wauconda, IL