I HAD TO KNOW

I HAD TO KNOW

I had to know

what I was not

before

I could ever begin to know

what I was,

what I am

and

what I am meant to be.

Experience and

divine intervention

have

enlightened

this differentiation.

“Separating from”

is as vital to

my salvation

as “union with.”

It takes great courage

and solid daily work

to separate

and

to unite—

to say one’s Yes and No—

with inner clarity

and integrity.

There is no such

thing

as perfection

without imperfection,

wholeness

without

brokenness,

love without

fear.

I no longer

trust my knowing

by faith

without having

explored and trusted

my not knowing

by faith.

I came to choose,

to implicitly trust,

that Inner Voice

hidden underneath

and beyond

my rational ways

of knowing.

I chose to discriminate

at a depth

beyond mere expectations.

I chose

to explore beyond the

edges of things.

I chose to venture

beyond all my

religious and cultural

mandates of protocol;

I chose to venture

into my own Hidden Cave

where only the unknown

and uncharted

lie submerged and waiting

in the dark abyss

of my

ineffable and unpredictable

potential.

This awakening of

consciousness came upon me

in the early 70’s

during a family vacation

at Pawley’s Island,

while reading chapter 6

in Jung’s autobiography,

Memories Dreams & Reflections—

“Confrontation with the Unconscious.”

In a flash of a moment

I altogether “knew”

that I could and I would

risk my entire life and legacy

paying attention to

this Center Voice

Who lives within my core.

Closer to my inner truth

than anyone else

or anything else—

this simple profound awareness,

immediately superseded

all my rational concepts

about God and

about social morals.

It meant,

I knew in a flash,

the difference between

my own

salvation or

my own damnation.

This was a Mt. Everest

I knew I must

climb and claim

within my own psyche.

Something at the Center

of that moment

guided me to trust.

A prolific numinous dream

that very night

sealed my direction.

Thank you, Dr. Jung.

You continue to be a

master spiritual director,

a soul mentor

without peer.

Hal Edwards

November 9, 2014

Wauconda