OCTOGENARIAN POTENCY

OCTOGENARIAN POTENCY

There has come a stage
in this man’s timeline
when strength is measured
in other ways.

Once a youthful muscular athlete,
a daredevil, lover, entrepreneur,
workaholic and steadfast helper,
now less compulsive,
a less determined sort,
more flexible,
more grounded in the reality
of limitations and closures,
I observe myself.

And what is strength?
What does potency mean
for one who has “been there,
done that” ten thousand times?

This is my time
to honor the seasons
and times and shifts of Mother Nature.

What do I have to prove?
Where do I need to go?
What remains unlived in my timeline?
What’s on my bucket list?

Perhaps real potency
is the capacity
to be aware,
to be aware of my existence,
to observe with curious joy
what I perceive,
what I observe,
what I feel and experience.

Perhaps real potency
is to be present
to mud and stars,
to listen and learn
and live in this moment,
here and now.

May 18, 2017, Hal Edwards

OCTOGENARIAN

OCTOGENARIAN

I receive unto myself
every right and privilege,
every acknowledgement
of my full membership
into this classy club
among my contemporary
Octogenarians.

Merely a
kindergartner in this
decade of distinction,
I respect countless initiations
that transported me
into this family
of wrinkles,
wisdom,
inner playfulness,
total trust,
compassionate suffering,
genuine humility,
inclusive forgiveness,
respectfulness
and refined gratitude.

I experience at once
a disposition of determination
and a spirit of new awakenings—
observing, claiming
and celebrating
every critical, painful pathway
I have wisely and stupidly
co-created.

More often now, I observe,
I am realized by my Self
from a deeper consciousness,
in Love’s omnipresent
Oneness.

Not unlike Rumi,
I more often come into that “field
beyond right or wrong,”
where I receive and redeem
everyone and everything
in creation.

Nineteen years ago
I went on a
Vision Quest,
in the Big Bend Desert.
One of several prerequisites
during my preparation time
was to go into the woods,
get totally lost,
enter my Death Lodge
and bid goodbye
to all those who came
into my presence. Continue reading

HOW DO YOU WANT TO DIE?

HOW DO YOU WANT TO DIE?

Sometimes
my living
and my
dying
get all mixed up.

Sometimes I ask myself
“How do I prefer to die….
Sooner? Later?
Here? There?”

These fantasies and realities
of living and dying
become more poignant
more pressing,
more precious,
more necessary,
as I pass my years.

I have two choices:
to ignore it
(“and get on with my life”)
…. or confront it
(and actually hallow my reality).

I made the latter
choice some years ago,
while reading
Old Age
by my mentor, Helen Luke.

Now,
I am just beginning
to see
my own
dying and death
as normal
and inevitable
and very worthwhile
for me.

My, how aging mellows things!
Well,
I cannot escape it,
that’s for sure!

While in the depths
of a relentless ten-year
dark night of my soul
era
I awakened one night
sweating and
in deepest anguish
as I heard myself
saying aloud,
“I want to die
before morning comes;
The pain of my
existence is
simply too heavy
to bear.”

Continue reading