GRACE, THE OPEN DOOR

GRACE, THE OPEN DOOR

In the alpha
and omega
of every moment
every day
of every week,
every year
of every decade,
every century
of every cosmic millisecond…
Grace
keeps The Door open.

In the beginning and
after the ending
of every
marriage and divorce,
birth and death,
sickness and wellness,
abandonment and betrayal,
injustice and catastrophe…
keep The Door open.

Whatever happens,
grace reigns,
grace remains.

Whatever does not happen,
grace maintains,
grace remains.

Whatever comes and goes,
grace sustains,
grace remains.

So
keep The Door open.

Bundle up every hurt,
every loss,
every confused misunderstanding;
Gather every unhealed grief
and thriving grievance…
Gather all resistances
and resentments,
memories of shame
and blame…
bring them Home,
through The Door,
into perfect Love.

Everything sad,
everything bad,
everything mad…

all yearnings unfulfilled,
all desires unmet;
all dreams swallowed
into ten thousand
darkened sewers
of saddened yesterdays…

every good deed unrecognized,
every unconditional gift rejected,
every unfinished symphony
of exquisite harmony
now abandoned…
Open the door and
bring them home.

every unfinished manuscript;
every prayer unanswered;
every loving attempt thwarted,
every abandoned intention—

These deserted refugees
of humanity…
these faithful fissured features
of a moaning creation…
these are the things
angels and gods
were fashioned to embrace.

All shattered investments,
now embellished by Grace,
at once,
in the twinkling of an eye,
have become
a deep reservoir
of Sacred Joy.

“Where sin abounds,
grace abounds even more.”
Romans 5:20

-Hal Edwards
Wauconda
February 18, 2017

ONE LITTLE YELLOW FLOWER

ONE LITTLE YELLOW FLOWER

I spent a week
in Assisi
with Francis
in August 1982,
celebrating his
800th birthday.

Intoxicated by love,
I wandered through the
colorful display of flowers,
trillions of flowers,
every size and shape,
full and scattered
across several hospitable
Umbrian farmlands
surrounding
this mythic village.

Wine, cheese and
a loaf of fresh Italian bread
in my knapsack, I
followed my intuition,
not knowing where and why, I
got lost and found again
in a veritable wonderland
of “Little Flowers.”

One day I sat at his tomb,
buried inside tons of cement
beneath the Upper Church
where Napoleon stabled
his horses.

Hundreds of prayer candles
blanketed one corner of the
cave-shaped sanctuary.
I sat motionlessness through
numerous masses
celebrated in many
different languages.

His cushioned sandals,
customized by Clare
to protect the stigmata
in his bleeding feet,
and his legendary robe,
a patchwork made from
swatches from poor friends,
were encased nearby.

Legend, history,
myth and meaning
flooded my psyche and soul.

I climbed nearby
Mount Sabasio ,
found my little sanctuary
near his prayer cell
in the dense forest
and read Kazantzakis’
Francis.

As I encountered a man
who kissed a leper,
transcending his greatest fear;
I felt his living soul
pulsating through my soul,
calling me deeply
into the truth
of myself.

Riveted by his overwhelming
austerity, love and clarity,
a simple image
remains more vivid
than all the others.

I hiked up
Assisi’s pinnacle to
the ageless Roca,
an ancient Roman Fortress,
still commanding it’s
impressive citadel.

I sat for a long time,
meditating, waiting, taking in
the energy of daunting, massive walls
surrounding a Roman catapult.
Suddenly, I was visited
by a total surprise.

A beautiful, perfectly formed
small yellow flower
commanded my entire attention.
Unmistakably powerful
and powerless,
I witnessed a flower strong enough
to grow out of a rock!

That, it became clear to see,
was what Francis was all about.
His gentle simplicity
and conscious powerlessness
inflames all our dark fears
with the fires of Love.

Hal Edwards
May 15, 2015
Wauconda

DOING TONGLEN

DOING TONGLEN

I inhale,

I take in

the torment, the agony,

the illusions, the fear.

I gulp into my Soul

every snake and dragon

and mosquito

of the moment

and do Tonglen.

With open heartedness

and Spiritual Awareness

I invite

these strangers

into my Living Room.

I sit close

to the hearth fires

of purification

and

exhale Presence

while

Invisible Angels

turn all

the lights on

again.

Hal Edwards

Wauconda

May 31, 2014

OUR RETURN TO CIVILITY

OUR RETURN TO CIVILITY

Where art thou,

Mutual trust

And

Mutual benefit?

Our belied

Goodness,

forming

Legacies

of

Blame and

Fear,

Leave us

Bereft

Of

Soul

And

Substance.

Orphaned

Into neurotic

Repetitions

Of fragmented

Moments

Dripping with

Tension

And

Anxiety,

Our hope

Potential,

And presence,

Defaulted into

Powerlessness

and muted

Wasteland,

We have forsaken

Our omnipresent

Awareness;

We have neglected

To confront our

Narcissistic

Shadowlands.

We march headlong

Into a collective

Ocean of

Blind

Illusions.

This need not

Be our destiny!

We can mend.

The embers of

Soul and Spirit

Cannot be denied.

It is our time

To awaken

And turn about.

Now is our hour

Of recognition.

Our swords of

Pointless projection

Scream for

Their return

Into sturdy

Ploughshares.

The choice is ours—

Our healing

And Nature’s Way

Or

Our demise.

-Hal Edwards

Wauconda

January 30, 2014

DYING INTO LIFE

DYING INTO LIFE

Why don’t I

Just give up,

Stop trying,

Gather enough courage

To lie down

And die?

Beyond exhaustion,

I want to sleep

forever

And numb out

The pain

Of my

Own existence.

The road seems

So dark and

Unending, so

Lonely, so

Dangerous

And demanding.

It becomes narrow,

And the bends

And bumps

Prevent me

From seeing

Far enough

Ahead.

Hope now gone,

I have frozen into

My fears;

I trudge ahead

Not knowing

Where I am

Going.

The dark settles

All around me,

The rain rattles

My brain

And racks my

Body with its

Bone chilling

Penetrating drench.

  Continue reading

WHEN I’VE HAD ENOUGH

WHEN I’VE HAD ENOUGH

 

When I have had enough,

things change

and I outgrow

old phobias and

rationalized fears…..

when I’ve had enough.

 

When I have had enough,

life confirms

my connection

between

long hidden imprints

and

my liberated readiness….

When I have had enough. 

 

When I have had enough,

my tenacious ego

surrenders its

unbending rational clarity

and pays homage

to Wisdom’s

intruding hospitality….

When I have had enough. 

 

When I have had enough,

Obstacles transmute

into synchronicity,

Monsters

become visiting angels,

Fear

becomes trust….

When I have had enough.

 

When I have had enough,

my armor

melts into

liquid love,

soul-strangers

become

healing lovers,

and the Light

shines through

the darkness….

When I have had enough.

 

-Hal Edwards

September 1, 2013

Wauconda, IL

OUR REAL WORLD

OUR REAL WORLD

 

In our real world

there is

war,

and rumors

of more wars.

 

In our world there is

phenomenal beauty

in ordinary

and simple things;

demanding pressures

that threaten to

diminish

body and spirit.

 

In our world

we experience

devastating losses

and jubilant discoveries;

and

peaceful, healing times.

 

Our world

is plunging and progressing

into worse and better

at the same time;

the stretch inflates,

and the pace

increases

as information explodes

and technology

gallops

headlong

into cyberspace.

 

Who are we?

and

Where did we come from?

and

Why are we here?

and

What are we doing?

and

When

and

Where are we going?

Continue reading

WE ARE A BURDEN AND GIFT TO EACH OTHER

WE ARE A BURDEN AND GIFT TO EACH OTHER

During a walk

across Hamline University campus

in 1960

with my mentor

Dr. Sam Shoemaker

he said to me,

“Young man,

don’t ever forget this:

As long as you and I live

we will to some degree

be a problem to ourselves

and those who love us.

All the saints

have clay feet.”

Every person

In our sphere of influence

at home

and at work

Will most likely be

Enhanced by us

and burdened…

by and with us.

Most especially,

Those with whom

we brush our teeth or

sit nearby

in an adjoining cubicle

day after day.

Continue reading

Quotes and Reflections on the Insights of CG Jung

Quotes and Reflections on the Insights of CG Jung

A Life without Inner Contradiction-
“It is conflicts of duty that make endurance and action so difficult….The one must exist and so must the other.  There can be no resolution, only patient endurance of the opposites, which ultimately springs from your own nature.  You yourself are a conflict that rages in and against itself in order to melt its incompatible substances…in the fire of suffering, and thus create that fixed and unalterable form which is the goal of life.  Everyone goes through this mill, consciously or unconsciously, voluntarily or forcibly.  We are curcified between the opposites and delivered up to the torture until the ‘reconciling third’ takes shape.  Do not doubt the rightness of these two sides within you, and let whatever may happen, happen….A life without inner contradiction is either only half a life or else a life in the Beyond, which is destined only for angels.  But God loves human beings more than angels.”  p. 375, C G JUNG Letters 1, 1906-1950.

Doing your work truly and conscientiously- “Thus an old chemist gave the following consolation to one of his disciples: ‘No matter how isolated you are and how lonely you feel, if you do your work truly and conscientiously, unknown friends will come and seek you.'”  p. 595, CG JUNG LETTERS 1951-1961.

Getting into Life- “By bearing the opposites we can expose ourselves to life in our humanity….We have to realize the evil is in us; we have to risk life to get into life, then it takes on color, otherwise we might as well read a book….”  C G Jung, Emma Jung, Toni Wolff, by The Analytic Psychology Club of San Francisco, Inc., pp. 111-112. “

God Rules the World– “Clement of Rome taught that God rules with a right and a left hand, the right being Christ, the left Satan.  Clement’s view is clearly monotheistic as it unites the opposites as being contained in God….Later Christianity, however, is dualistic, inasmuch as it splits off one half of the opposites, personified in Satan, and he is eternal in his state of damnation….If Christianity claims to be monotheism, it becomes unavoidable to assume the opposites as being contained in God.”  p. 357, C G Jung, Collective Works 11, “Answer to Job.”

Good from Evil?  “Out of evil, so much good has come to me.  By keeping quiet, repressing nothing, remaining attentive, and by accepting reality–taking things as they are, and not as I wanted them to be–by doing all this, unusual knowledge has come to me and unusual powers as well, such as I could never have imagined before.  I always thought that when we accepted things they overpowered us in some way or other.  This turns out not to be true at all, and it is only by accepting them that one can assume an attitude towards them.  So now I intend to play the game of life, being receptive to whatever comes to me, good and bad, sun and shadow that are forever alternating, and in this way, also accepting my own nature with its negative and positive sides.  Thus everything becomes more alive to me.  What a fool I was!  How I tried to force everything to go according to the way I thought it ought to.”  CG JUNG to a client.

Imitation of Christ- “We Protestants must sooner or later face this question: Are we to understand the ‘imitation of Christ’ in the sense that we should copy his life and, if I may use the expression, ape his stigmata; or, in the deeper sense, that we are to live our own proper lives as truly as Christ lived his in all its implications?  It is no easy matter to live a life that is modeled on Christ’s; but it is unspeakably harder to live one’s own life as truly as Christ lived his.  Anyone who did this would run counter to the forces of the past, and though he might thus be fulfilling his destiny, would none the less be misjudged, derided, tortured and crucified.”  Modern Man in Search of a Soul, (MMSS), p. 236.

Letter to Bil W. from Jung (excerpts)- “….his craving for alcohol was the equivalent on a low level of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, expressed in medieval language: the union with God….You see, alcohol in Latin is spiritus and you use the same word for the highest religious experience as well as for the most depraving poison. The helpful formula, therefore, is spiritus contra spiritum.” p. 623-625, CG JUNG Letters 2, 1951-1961.

Living Life Completely- “There is no place where those striving after consciousness could find absolutely safety.  Doubt and insecurity are indispensable components of a complete life.  Only those who can lose this life really can gain it.  A complete life does not consist in a theoretical completeness, but in the fact that one accepts, without reservation, the particular fatal issue in which one finds oneself embedded, and that one tries to make sense of it or to create a cosmos from the chaotic mess into which one is born.  If one lives properly and completely, time and again one will be confronted with a situation of which one will say, ‘This is too much.  I cannot bear it any more.’  Then the question must be answered, ‘Can one really not bear it?'”  pp. 163-174, CG JUNG Letters 2, 1951-1961

Loneliness– “Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”  Memories, Dreams & Reflections (MDR), p. 356.

Loving and accepting One’s Self- “Perhaps this sounds very simple, but simple things are always the most difficult.  In actual life it requires the greatest discipline to be simple, and the acceptance of oneself is the essence of the moral problem and the epitome of a whole outlook upon life.  That I feed the hungry, that I forgive an insult, that I love my enemy in the name of Christ–all these are undoubtedly great virtues.  What I do unto the lease of my brethren, that I do unto Christ.  But what if I should discover that the least amongst them all, the poorest of all the beggars, the most impudent of all offenders, the very enemy himself–that these are within me, and that I myself stand in need of the alms of my own kindness–that I myself am the enemy who must be loved–what then?  As a rule, the Christian’s attitude is then reversed; there is no longer any question of love or long-suffering; we say to the brother (or sister) within us, ‘Raca,’ and condemn and rage against ourselves.  We hide it from the world; we refuse to admit ever having met this least among the lowly in ourselves.  Had it been God himself who drew near to us in this despicable form, we should have denied him a thousand times before a single cock had crowed.”  Modern Man in Search of His Soul  (MMSS), p. 235.

Mistakes are inevitable– “When one follows the path of individuation (journey towards wholeness), when one lives one’s own life, one must take mistakes into the bargain; life would be incomplete without them.  There is no guarantee–not for a single moment–that we will not fall into error or stumble into deadly peril.  We may think there is a sure road.  But that would be the road of death.  Then nothing happens any longer–at any rate, not the right things.  ANYONE WHO TAKES THE SURE ROAD IS AS GOOD AS DEAD.”  MDR, p. 297

Observing one’s conscious and rational mind-  “It is under all conditions a most advisable thing to keep to the conscious and rational side, i.e., to maintain that side.  One never should lose sight of it.  It is the safeguard without which you would lose yourself on unknown seas.  You would invite illness, indeed, if you should give up your conscious and rational orientation.  On the other hand, it is equally true that life is not only rational.  You are not fully adapted to life by a merely rational attitude.  To a certain extent you have to keep your senses open to the non-rational aspects of existence.  Among the latter is the unconscious.  Such a non-rational factor has to be carefully observed….If you observe the unconscious at all you are instantly drawn to it, and if you haven’t sufficient foothold in your real conscious life the dragon of the unconscious will swallow you.  You know what they means!  Only if you maintain your consciousness with all its power of criticism can you observe the unconscious.”  pp. 108-109, C G JUNG Letters 1, 1906-1950. 

Reaching Utmost Poverty (Jung’s response to a letter from Rev. Mother Prioress)- “I am very grateful for the spiritual help you extend to me.  I am in need of it with this gigantic misunderstanding which surrounds me (the global reaction to his book, GOD”S ANSWER TO JOB).  All the riches I seem to possess are also my poverty, my lonesomeness in the world.  The more I seem to possess, the more I stand to lose, when I get ready to approach the dark gate.  I did not seek my life with its failures and accomplishments.  It came to me with a power not my own.  Whatever I have acquired serves a purpose I have not foreseen.  Everything had to be shed and nothing remains my own.  I quite agree with you: it is not easy to reach utmost poverty and simplicity.  But it meets you, unbidden, on the way to the end of this existence….Thank you for the un-asked for kindness of your letter.  There is so much evil and bitterness in this world that one cannot be too grateful for the one good thing which happens from time to time.”  p. 516, C G JUNG Letters 2, 1951-1961. 

Satisfied with life- “I am satisfied with the course my life has taken.  It has been bountiful, and has given me a great deal.  How could I have ever expected so much?  Nothing but unexpected things kept happening to me.  Much might have been different if I myself had been different.  But it was as it had to be; for all came about because I am what I am.  Many things worked out as I planned them to, but that did not always prove of benefit to me.  But almost everything developed naturally and by destiny.  I regret many follies which sprang from my obstinacy; but without that trait I would not have reached my goal.  And so I am disappointed and I am not disappointed with myself.  I have learned amazing things from people, and have accomplished more than I expected of myself…The older I have become, the less I have understood or had insight into or known about myself.”  MDR, p. 358.

Who is really cured?  “Of all my patients past middle life, that is, past thirty-five, there is not one whose ultimate problem is not one of religious attitude (ie., spiritual worldview).  Indeed, in the end every one suffered from having lost that which living religions of every age have given to their believers, and none is really cured who has not regained his (or her) religious attitude, which naturally has nothing to do with creeds or belonging to a church.”  C G Jung, Modern Man in Search of a Soul (MMSS).

A Parent’s Unlived Life– “Nothing exerts a stronger psychic effect upon the human environment, and especially upon children, than the life which the parents have not lived.”  Jung, Collected Works, Vol. # 14, par. 21.